Shred Update

No good news on the weight loss frontier this week.  I missed out on the Shred most of last week because I was sick.  You would think that with sickness would come weight loss, but not for me.

Maybe it was the heath mix cheat (I ate it ALL, even though it was mostly vanilla), or the fact that hubby was out of town and we ate out a few times.  All I know is that I'm up this week and I don't like it.

So here's the recap:

Pounds to lose:  35.2

Lost to date:  3.1

Change from last week: +.5

On a lighter note, here's a picture of the cookies Reese and I made last weekend, which I can say with confidence, did NOT contribute to my gain!

The Cheat

This weekend I decided to cheat.  Hubby was out of town and Reese was sick.  My Mom's sick too, so I felt I deserved a little treat.  Once I decided to do it, it was like my car was on auto-pilot remembering the many times we've done this before.

I pulled into the drive-thru of a popular ice cream store here in town.  I ordered a large (justified because it was only 50 cents more than small) chocolate heath mix.  I got to the window and paid for the goodness about to come my way.  A few minutes later, I saw the girl headed to the window with my treasure...only it wasn't chocolate, it was vanilla.  Well, I didn't order nor did I want vanilla - and if I was going to cheat, it should be with something that I really wanted.

So, against my better judgement, I told her my mix was supposed to be chocolate - I've always heard not to send anything back or it will be returned with a little extra spit (or worse), but I wanted what I wanted.  She returned with my chocolate mix a few minutes later and we merrily headed toward home.

After changing Reese's clothes (and mine), I finally got her situated on a pallet in the living room.  She promptly fell asleep so I decided to eat half of my mix.

The first few bites were scrumptous.  Delicious chocolate mixed with heath bar...if I was going to cheat, this was surely the way to do it.

I got about a 1/4 of the way in when I started to notice streaks of vanilla - I stirred a little deeper to investigate.  And much to my surprise and dismay, I discovered that the entire bottom half of my mix was vanilla!  So, girl just dabbed a little chocolate syrup on top of the mix THEY MADE WRONG, and stirred it around to make me believe I was getting what I wanted.  If you're going to deceive me, at least do it right.

I thought about calling to complain, but it was late and I  didn't think they'd care when my whole ticket was a whopping $2.81.  So, my cheat cheated me.  And I'll never know if they did a better job deceiving me with the spit or not.

Shred Update

I was pretty bummed when I got to work on Monday the 3rd and realized I missed 1/1/11, but totally scored today since it's 1/11/11 - and still have 11/11/11 to look forward to!

I managed to complete Jillian's 30 day shred 3 times last week...not even 50% - sigh!  But 3 times is better than nothing.  So, combined with my change of eating habits, I lost 3.5 pounds last week.  I crapped out over the weekend and ate the rest of the package of oreos along with some lots of chocolate that came from Christmas stockings.

I know that the first week's loss is usually a lot of water weight, but I'm still taking those 3.5 pounds and vowing to do better this week.  We did the Shred at lunch yesterday and despite my 4 day sabbatical, it didn't hurt nearly as much as last Monday's workout.

So, pounds to lose:  35.2

pounds lost:  3.5

pounds to go: 31.7

Not able to fit into my pants any more comfortably yet, which just means they were WAY too tight!  Looking forward to wearing some of the cute clothes I have in my closet, but have been too self conscious to even attempt a closet try-on.

Shred

I have several New Year's Resolutions, but one I'm hoping to stick with is doing Jillian Michael's 30 day shred program with some of the girls I work with.  Monday was day 1 and my legs felt like noodles when we were done.

We've all set weight loss goals and I'm hoping that having someone (many ones, actually) to keep me accountable will help me stay on track.

I'll let you know how it goes.  As for the other resolutions:

Read to Reese every night (most important one..time slips away in the evening - no more excuses!)
Exercise 4 days/week
Drink only 1 coke/pop per day
Run 10 races
Run 1/2 marathon
Have 2 non-spending months (months were I spend only on essentials instead of all the other crap I tend to buy)
Lose xx.2 pounds by April 29 (when we leave for Disney World) and the remaining 10 pounds by July 31

I KNOW my weight shouldn't matter, but I can only fit (comfortably) into one pair of work pants and I can't stand it anymore!

I'm also going to make a long term list like I've seen on some of the other blogs I read.  I just need to give it a little thought before I put it in writing.

Lose 10 pounds by Christmas challenge

Last week I signed up for a "Lose 10 pounds by Christmas challenge" - then I ate a brownie...GO ME!

I wasn't super motivated, but did actually get on the treadmill once for a total distance of 1 mile and 100 calories.  So, I was super surprised to weigh in yesterday morning at a measly .8 pounds down.  I mean, come on, shouldn't that treadmill workout cancel out the brownie(s) and excess sugar cookies consumed at Grammy's on Saturday?

Then, yesterday afternoon it began.  The first Christmas gifts delivered to work.  It's a huge tin of popcorn...plain, cheese and caramel.  No telling what's next.

I did get on the treadmill again last night (1 mile, 130 calories) and the hubby is out of town all week (no cooking), so maybe I'll do a little better this week.  If not, I'll try to pass off my orange stained fingers as a new fashion trend.

Book Review

I just finished reading this book and couldn't let it go without talking about how incredible I thought it was.

I became a Portia fan when she joined Ally McBeal, but lost track of her after the show ended.  I remember being surprised to find out about her relationship with Ellen because I never new she was gay, which, come to find out, is exactly the way she wanted it. 

She wrote this book to chronicle her struggles with her sexual orientation and anorexia in hopes that it will help anyone who's ever struggled with self acceptance.  It's beautifully written and I could not put it down (I even had it cracked open on my desk at work so I could "peek" at it here and there). 

I don't know about anyone else, but I know I've never been 100% happy with my body regardless of what I weighed.  I look back at pictures and the first thing I notice is whether I was fat or thin at that time.  I weighed 105 pounds when I graduated from high school, but never considered myself "thin".  I can easily look back in time and say "now, back then, you were skinny," but that thought never enters my conscience in the present tense.  I'm always thinking, if I could just lose xxxx pounds, I'd be happy with how I look - it's a vicious cycle that never ends. 

Here are a few statements from Portia's book that I thought were worthy of mentioning:

• Restriction generates yearning.  You want what you can't have.
• I really hope that my self-exploration can help not only people who are suffering from anorexia and bulimia, but also the perpetual dieters.  You don't have to be emaciated or vomiting to be suffering.  All people who live their lives on a diet are suffering.
• If you can accept your natural body weight - the weight that is easy for you to maintain, or your "set point" - and not force it to be beneath your body's natural, healthy weight, then you can live your life free of dieting, of restriction, of feeling guilty every time you eat a slice of your kid's birthday cake.  But the key is to accept your body just as it is.

Wow!  What an eye opener for me!  If I don't deprive myself of a little goody here and there, maybe I won't cave in and eat 10 (or more) at one time.  I know what my natural body weight is!  I've been there many times, but it never seemed to be good enough.  I just have to readjust my habits (i.e. eating and exercising) to get back there.  I can't put into words exactly what I'm trying to say, so I'm going to end by simply saying,

If you're looking for an open and honest well written book, you won't be sorry reading this one.

Fat girl out :)

Mistake - my stake

I think I may have made a mistake.  I read a post at http://www.fatcyclist.com/ challenging readers to lose 10 pounds by December 23 and erroneously began to think that I could accomplish it.  I mean, hello, did I forget it's December and that December brings holiday parties and homemade goodies at work?  Or how about the fact that I haven't regulary exercised for MONTHS?  How in the world did I think I'd stand a shot at losing weight when all I've done lately is gain?

Fatty lured me in with his "no entry fee required"  and a chance to win some goodies.  Now, I'll admit that there are a few things he's giving away that I wouldn't mind having, but IF I reach my goal, I don't even get to choose what I'd get.  I must be losing my marbles...

But, on the other hand...I dread getting ready for work every morning because I'm sick and tired of changing my clothes 10 times when the pants I picked don't button or are cinched so tightly around my waist that I'm afraid to sit down.  This madness must end :)

So, I bit the bullet and am going to give it a try.  So what's my stake?  The chance to lose some extra poundage during the time of year that most people gain.  I read a stat the other day that said the average person gains 10-12 pounds during the holiday season - and let me tell you, I'm anything but average!!  So, even if my quest allows me to maintain my current weight, in essence I've lost 10 pounds, right?

We weigh in once a week - I'll let you know how it goes.  Think the brownies sitting on my stovetop will still be good December 24th? 

Me neither *sigh*

Dora DOES help me look a little better, but really?


Here's my "before" shot.  Disgusting that I actually went on a cruise in this condition!