Book Review

I just finished reading this book and couldn't let it go without talking about how incredible I thought it was.

I became a Portia fan when she joined Ally McBeal, but lost track of her after the show ended.  I remember being surprised to find out about her relationship with Ellen because I never new she was gay, which, come to find out, is exactly the way she wanted it. 

She wrote this book to chronicle her struggles with her sexual orientation and anorexia in hopes that it will help anyone who's ever struggled with self acceptance.  It's beautifully written and I could not put it down (I even had it cracked open on my desk at work so I could "peek" at it here and there). 

I don't know about anyone else, but I know I've never been 100% happy with my body regardless of what I weighed.  I look back at pictures and the first thing I notice is whether I was fat or thin at that time.  I weighed 105 pounds when I graduated from high school, but never considered myself "thin".  I can easily look back in time and say "now, back then, you were skinny," but that thought never enters my conscience in the present tense.  I'm always thinking, if I could just lose xxxx pounds, I'd be happy with how I look - it's a vicious cycle that never ends. 

Here are a few statements from Portia's book that I thought were worthy of mentioning:

• Restriction generates yearning.  You want what you can't have.
• I really hope that my self-exploration can help not only people who are suffering from anorexia and bulimia, but also the perpetual dieters.  You don't have to be emaciated or vomiting to be suffering.  All people who live their lives on a diet are suffering.
• If you can accept your natural body weight - the weight that is easy for you to maintain, or your "set point" - and not force it to be beneath your body's natural, healthy weight, then you can live your life free of dieting, of restriction, of feeling guilty every time you eat a slice of your kid's birthday cake.  But the key is to accept your body just as it is.

Wow!  What an eye opener for me!  If I don't deprive myself of a little goody here and there, maybe I won't cave in and eat 10 (or more) at one time.  I know what my natural body weight is!  I've been there many times, but it never seemed to be good enough.  I just have to readjust my habits (i.e. eating and exercising) to get back there.  I can't put into words exactly what I'm trying to say, so I'm going to end by simply saying,

If you're looking for an open and honest well written book, you won't be sorry reading this one.

Fat girl out :)